The Trauma of Culture Shock

02/10/2006

When I first found myself working in a foreign culture, I was aware of going through the motions of being alive. I could teach English, that was a familiar task that I had done for years, and the way Korean kids were kids was interesting to observe. I followed the books at first, and after a time I became innovative.

However, the minute I stepped outside of the classroom, I had to conceal how lost I actually felt. I didn’t know what to eat. I didn’t know how to guard against being misunderstood or how to counteract it when I was. One day a woman asked me something about my life in Korea, and inside I replied, “You don’t get it, do you? I should actually be invisible because I have no life. I am not real in this setting.” With my mouth, I gave her some answer and allowed her to continue to build a fantasy identity for me. Then I went home and listened to Afrikaans music that I’d never even listened to in South Africa, but it provided a nostalgic reminder that I had once had a life, even if I had none now.

Far from being invisible, of course, I was highly visible as a foreigner, which exposed me to advances from strangers and giggled greetings from strange children. These empty meetings and greetings added to my sense of isolation by making me act out the illusion sociability.

I learned a huge lesson the day I stopped being so “brave”. I finally admitted to myself how lost and sad I was feeling, and went ahead and felt it. I allowed myself to experience my fear and despondency. That acknowledgment was the beginning of my healing.

The trauma of culture shock is real and often goes deep, scouring the sense of self we develop at home quite unconsciously. Don’t underestimate it; be kind to yourself.

Submitted by Melanie Steyn, celebrated writer & contributor for kimknightcoaching