Embracing Culture Shock

13/06/2006

I have been working in a foreign country for four years. The other day, when a colleague of mine suddenly yelled, “I hate this country!” I patted her on the back. She had reached the rejection stage of the culture shock process in just four months. It took me a year.

Yes, my honeymoon with this exotic setting lasted a full year. I admired the music, studied the history and the architecture, embraced alternative values wherever I could, and in the process did some violence to myself. I didn’t know I was; I was just soldiering bravely on as I had always been taught to do, determined not to be one of those wimps who voluntarily leaves his country only to demand that the new one be an exact replica of what was familiar.

Still, I’m glad I erred on the side of tolerance. Point is, culture shock is a process, and those who successfully go through it become the genuine expats, an asset to their new country and a credit to the old. The road to this state is strewn with failures: the inadequates, the fugitives, the losers back home who are now losers here too.

One of the side-effects of the process seems like a rather cruel trick, and it happens during a visit home. You suddenly find that you want to yell, “I hate this place!” because you’re missing something you were taking for granted in your adopted country. “Have I just succeeded in making myself a stranger in two countries?” you wonder. The answer is probably yes and no. An integrated expat knows who he or she is and what he or she likes and wants in any place. The rest one can take without over-reacting.

Leaving your country for a year or for forever makes great demands on you. You have to discover who you really are when your supporting framework has been swapped for an alien one. If you succeed in discovering that, you will be greatly enriched. Where you saw frustration, you will find fascination, and one day you’ll know with joy and relief that you have received the gift of quiet, confident peace. May it happen for you, and soon.

Submitted by Melanie Steyn, very welcomed & approved contributor for kimknightcoaching